The Balance Between Today and Tomorrow

Pat asked me what I was up to that weekend, and I mentioned I was going to see my grandparents. He opened up to me to share a regret: he wished he had interviewed his grandparents on camera before they passed. He was very close to them and felt he had missed an opportunity to preserve their life story.

I liked the idea of capturing my grandparents on camera but also felt they were healthy so there was no real rush. Still, it was the pandemic, and I really didn’t have much to do in my off-time. So, I decided to follow through and interview my grandparents that weekend. My mom did my grandma’s makeup, and my grandfather, prim and proper as always, put on a collared shirt. They were nervous at first but quickly settled into the conversation which covered the arc of their life and lasted nearly three hours.

The story, which I had known in parts previously, was so beautiful to hear. Both of my grandparents were immigrants from Mexico. My grandmother, Maria Antonia Herrera-Sanchez, was working at a restaurant that cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner for migrant field laborers in California. My grandfather was one of those field laborers, and through their interactions at the restaurant, they came to know each other, fall in love, and get married.

Over the years, they had seven children together, and a lot of the time my grandfather was working in the US, while my grandmother was raising the children in Mexico. He talked about how hard that was for him to be away for so much time, but also how it was also necessary from a financial standpoint. One of their daughters is Gricelda Herrera, my mom.

After we wrapped, I was excited to have preserved so much of their story and believed that one day when they passed, it would be a treasure to look back on. That day came much sooner than I expected, as my grandfather passed away a few months later from post COVID-related complications. There are few things I’ve been more grateful for than having taken Pat’s advice and interviewed my grandparents that weekend.

Were it not for the pandemic, I probably would have felt too busy to take on the project. My grandfather’s passing made it clear to me how important it is to seize opportunities and experiences with our loved ones while we still have them in our lives. In my work as a financial planner, I often counsel my clients to look beyond “what they will leave behind.” As we have that conversation, I like to point out that they are still here! What could they do now to build memories and experiences with the loved ones in their lives?

My grandfather didn’t leave me anything material. After he passed, my mom stole one of his sweaters from his closet because she wanted me to have something of his that could bring me comfort. In addition to this stolen sweater, the memories I have of my grandfather, including those that we captured on video, bring me so much joy. Before he passed, I took my grandparents on a trip to Sedona to explore for a week. We didn’t need it to be anything fancy; we simply wanted to spend time together, see some sights, and have meals and conversations. I don’t miss the money I spent, and I cherish the memories. On that trip, we recalled special moments together like that time at Krispy Kreme when, thanks to a promotion, we were given a free glazed donut. Or, how he was so vain that he would never go to the grocery store in sweatpants. These little moments of humanity I remember nurture my soul and ground me in love. I’m very grateful for them.

For me, life is a balance between today and tomorrow, and part of our work is to help clients find that balance. I caution clients to not sacrifice too much today, in order to leave a strong financial legacy tomorrow. The human impact that we have on each other while we are living and breathing is, for me, far more powerful. The memories of cherished experiences with our loved ones and the positive impact they have in our lives extend across generations and will outlast any assets that we leave behind.

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